Self-sabotage
I am pretty routine-centric person. When I want to try some new approach, or just to loosen my routine for some time, I encounter a problem...
Self-sabotage.
It stems from me trying to protect my (current) way of doing things. Trying to prove to myself and others, that I can not be happy and/or productive, without my routines. Which might or might not be the case...
Persisting in self-sabotage — will not help to understand if it, really, is, though.